Slowly tracing a picture of SF in illustrator. Every street, every hour. I’ve been working on it for about seven total hours. It’s a slow, grueling process. But I continue. I’d estimate i’ve got about an hour left of work time before I’m done. So close.
My project has started, and much like last arc, I am very happy with it. Around a month ago two employees of Stamen design visited our school to talk about what they do. If you are not familiar with Stamen I’ll post a link to their blog at the bottom (I think they actually have a post about visiting us), but they basically make maps. Not regular maps showing you where things are mind you, but these maps showing crazy information, such as stock market exchanges, bus routes for Google employees, and the spread of popular Facebook images. It was really interesting, and I eventually decided my project would follow in their footsteps. And so began the arc. Right now I am using Adobe Illustrator to create a map showing all of the hamburger joints and health food stores in SF. (I was originally going to make a map of all of the computer stores and hardware stores, however the data was very impure and there was too much of it.) Illustrator is very fun, and I’m having a fun time learning it. This concludes my blog post.
Some facts about maps:
Maps are not edible. Dont eat them please. They are mine
Maps can mean different things. One map shows how happy I am. It was red.
Red maps are the best kind of maps
No one understands me until I become Map Man. I have a billion friends when I put on the mask!
Nazis used maps
The guy who invented peanutbutter crackers used maps
Maps will always be your friend, even when you have banana pie on your face because a bully threw it at you.
Maps don’t discriminate.
Maps aren’t your friends.
One time I fell down and the spaghetti fell out of my pocket.
There is a map museum. I thought that was funny. I bet they have a map with no arms there!
Maps don’t do drugs.
A map talked to me once.
Welcome to your eternal stay at Dante’s Hotel. Here you will find nine separate circular floors each with its own naughty theme! In the first floor you will find a small, simple, very affordable series of minimalistic rooms with no furniture or windows to distract you from your stay. Once you enter your room you are not allowed to leave. This means you can make the most of your period of solitude. If the first floor is too simple for you, you can spend your stay at the second floor. If you have a significant other traveling with you, this is the perfect place to stay. Here you will find sexy lingerie shops, solitary hotel rooms, and a freezing, constant wind that will blow not only your clothes off, but any bodily hair rendering you smooth, sleek, and ready for action! For the less sensual and more peckish visitor, the third floor is home to the best of the culinary arts, featuring food and drink just like mother used to make! Each hotel room has its own individual chef that will not stop feeding you under any circumstances. By the time you leave, (never) you will be literally overflowing with incredible food. An added feature is a constant acidic, putrid downpour of boiling hot rain. How exotic! But if you really want to flaunt your ability to spend vast amounts of money, the fourth floor is the place for you. Here you will receive a five-star hotel with walls paved with gold and slave teeth. However, you won’t want to spend a second in it once you see our fantastic gym! At the gym you will be given a giant boulder and will be lead to a fabulously huge hill. You’re mission is simple. Get the boulder to the top of the hill to receive an incomprehensibly huge amount of money. You will not stop trying. To be continued.
GriffonMaster was created in March, 2013, by two students who studied music theory. The two members are David Zesty, who plays bass, guitar, and sings for the band. The other member is Merman Dingo, who plays bass, guitar, and sings for the band. Within minutes of forming, the band released their album debut, “GriffonMaster: Live at the Music School: Music for Individuals With Attention Spans of Humming Birds” and a couple hit singles to the public, which included “Yellow Crane”, “NONONO”, “Does This Marker Smell Funny to You?” and “Green Crane”. After the commercial success panning over the early hours of the band’s existence, the aging rockstars decided to take a break from touring and write what would turn out the be the band’s best decision so far, a rock opera. After countless minutes writing the songs and script, the band had finally finished their magnum opus, “GriffonMaster Presents: The Curse of the Green Crane: A Rock Opera to Behold”. The story followed a story full of drug use, defiance, disease, forgiveness, ESP, death, paranormal activity, realization, and devastation. The rock opera lasted on average for about four to five minutes, and featured over fifteen songs, such as “A Stern Warning”, “NONONO”, “Green Crane”, “An Epiphany”, “Walking Down the Stairs”, “An Inquisition”, “NONONO Reprise”, “The Stroke Song”, “NONONO Extended Edition”, “An Apology”, “A Prophecy”, “NONONO Reprise Part II”, “Walking Up the Stairs”, “NONONO Extended Edition: Mortuary Edition”, “Open Door”, “The Autopsy Song”, “Curse of the Green Crane”, and “Devastation”. The soundtrack album, “The Music of: GriffonMaster Presents: The Curse of the Green Crane: A Rock Opera to Behold: As Performed by GriffonMaster” included a bonus track, “Green Crane: Zinnle Remix” which is described on the band’s website as “Our classic [song] remixed by famed electronica DJ and personal friend, Zinnle.” The remix is praised widely by critics, but is also considered “too long for the target audience’s taste,” as the song added on an additional two seconds to the songs original two second length. Once the band gained notoriety a couple seconds after the arrival of the rock opera, critics started to notice the bands original album and the reviews started flowing in. One called the album “A fast paced exploration of the human psyche’s capacity for disjointed and unrelated musical ditties … clumped together in an inconceivable cluster of messy guitar licks and off-key singing. [Not] to be missed.” Another critic said the album was “…album…of…” The band is in hiatus at the moment, and fans are getting impatient. One fan said in a blog post “They haven’t made an album in over 48 hours. It’s time for GriffonMaster to shape up and release another compilation.” GriffonMaster is rumored to play soon at a secret concert.
You can catch GriffonMaster live at the Rubber Band Fundraiser (Date not yet released)!
And now, another thrilling episode of Mountain Man! In our last episode, we discovered Mountain Man’s origins, and that he has always been in the mountain and that he has never left. Just to recap, Mountain Man lives in the center of a mountain in a far away village. Mountain Man doesn’t have any arms nor does he have a face, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t the best crime fighter the world has ever seen! We note join our hero in his mountain, sitting and waiting for a crime to occur. While Mountain Man doesn’t have eyes or ears, he can feel vibrations in the ground, letting him know when to lay down his mighty fist of justice (which is difficult as Mountain Man doesn’t have arms.) Suddenly, a vibration! Mountain Man rushes to the rescue! Mountain Man crashes into many walls in his dash for justice, but nothing can deter him! Finally, he stumbles into the source of the vibration. Mountain Man feels the object with his legs. It is a child! Mountain Man has only met one once before. Mountain Man wants to know if the child is the same one as before, but decades if crashing into walls has caused severe damage to Mountain Man’s nerves, so he cannot feel with incredible detail. (The only reason Mountain Man knows what a child is is because of his braille encyclopedias, however due to his nerve loss, he can not read them anymore.) Mountain Man just assumes it is a different one. Suddenly, more vibrations! Mountain Man concentrates to figure out what the vibrations mean. They are footsteps, and they seem to be moving away from Mountain Man! Mountain Man rushes to catch up with the source. Mountain Man collides with the object in question and falls to they to the ground. Mountain Man rubs his muscular legs on the writhing person. It is the child! Mountain Man wants to know what the child was running away from. Mountain Man lets the child go. The footsteps return and Mountain Man does not follow. Mountain knows that some times, crimes are not meant to be stopped. Mountain Man walks back to his bedroom and lays back down on his bed made of weeds. Mountain Man waits for another crime.
Join us next time for another exiting installment of…
MOUNTAIN MAN, MAN OF THE MOUNTAIN!
Mountain Man and all respective characters and logos are held copyright by SPLAMMO Inc. All rights reserved.
hi im chad. d. todya i wanted togo to hawiai fro m my houes . i went to an websiet to figire out how to do it and but it dint work. i made an complant like this.s:
so now i haveto get to hawiaa form my hous adn that is bad nesw withotu an a wmap for me to ues .! at my houes I have a old map my ucnle gave me an year ago but i onse thoght it was an placmat so now it has ketchp a d scramled egs on it.. I can not ues it becuase of an stians. i will smiw to haiaaawa tonwrow at monibs wish mw luck bye
-chad (new amdin loljk i leet haksd it)
Hi, I’m John Smith. Today in our schedule we have a candlestick maker whos been in business for over 50 years; a firefighter with ADHD who still manages to do his job well; and Buzzy, the little kitten who refuses to stop dressing up!
First I met up with Gretchen, a 93-year-old candle-maker who started her business, Jack’s Candlesticks, in 1958 with her deceased husband, Sailor Arnold. When I asked Gretchen what keeps her going everyday, she said “Every day I wake up at 5:00 and get my bloomers on. Then I get on the bus. Then I get my bloomers on and wake up at 5:00. Then I go to work at my factory, at 5:00, with my bloomers on.” When I asked her what her favorite color was, she told me her favorite color is white with little pictures of roses on it. She then showed me around the factory. She showed me the main candle-making room, where she has about ten employees working around the clock. When I asked one employee what she thinks of her job, she grabbed my shirt and whispered in a shuttering voice “SHE WON’T LET US LEAVE.” Then Gretchen hit her on the head with a cane. I could already tell there was some great workplace team-spirit here!
After I escaped Gretchen’s factory, I walked over to San Francisco, CA to talk to Mike Bankin, one the most accomplished firefighters in the SFFD. However, Mike has ADHD, a mental disorder that makes it very hard for him to exist in society. Everyday, Mike fights his ADHD to help the good people of San Francisco. When I first met Mike, I asked him what it’s like to cope with his disease everyday in his line of work. He told me “the ADHD is really just a small part of me, you know? A lot of people hear I have it, and just assume I’m a loon and avoid me. When people look past my disease, they really get to know me, and that’s what matters.” I also asked Mike what his hobbies are when he’s not firefighting or coping with his ADHD or firefighting and coping with his ADHD at the same time. He told me, “It’s a lot about keeping yourself busy. Lately I’ve taken up modeling, so I can show it to people to let them know I’m more than just a disease. I am a person, you know? And I have talents and feelings as much as the next guy.” As I continued to talk to him, I learned he’s not only a firefighter, but a father. “Yeah, I’m a father to eight beautiful girls, and seven beautiful boys. Thirteen kids is a lot to handle, but because of my crippling disease the goverment has sent me some maids to help me with the struggle of fatherhood. They help me every day. Granted, I don’t know their names, as I often can’t hear their self-introductions over the sound of the TV. My favorite show is Baywatch. My favorite child is Derek.” However, before I could finish the interview, Mike’s ADHD took a turn for the worst and I had to leave so he could take a nap in the TV room.
Next, I was off to Portland, OR to have a nice chat with Buzzy the Dress Up Kitten and his owner, River Hawkston. River did the talking for Buzzy. Buzzy was wearing an adorable duck costume when I met him, and his owner was wearing a dress made of dream catchers. I asked River how she met Buzzy. “Well, I was taking a walk through my Spirit Forest, when this little bundle of joy popped out of the bog and tried to kiss me with his teeth! Well, I really felt a connection with him, like our inner selves had already known eachother in a past reincarnation, you know? So I took him home and gave him some of my Spirit Herbs, which really calmed him down. Now he’s my Spirit Animal!” Buzzy was looking very upset. River told me that means he likes his costume.
Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks! Make sure to turn your lights off after 9:00 so those commies don’t see your house! Bye!
Today I was completely out of it. I spent the whole day basically floating in space and being dragged around. After my one-day vacation I came back to the school and was immediatley pushed out the door with Henry to find comic stores in the Mission. Henry had apperently decided that this was his goal the day before my return. I soon discovered that there are very few comic shops in the Mission. This meant I followed Henry with tired feet and blindly looked at a little map. I was hungry. I was having a hard time communticating. I was very tired. I am still tired. We ended up visiting two comic shops and asking a predetermined question I guess, I wasn’t really sure. Now it’s time for a new segment called
WHAT DID WE LEARN? With Me, John Smith
-One comic store(s) has book signings very often
-One comic store(s) does not have book signings very often.
-A lot of resturaunts don’t have cheap food
-Hills can make your feet tired
-Sometimes you have to borrow money to get hot dogs.
-It’s hard to concentrate when people are yelling very close to you
Well, that’s it kids! That’s all the time we have for today! Don’t forget to drink your milk and listen to your parents and your uncle! Bye, kids!